Thursday, July 3, 2014

Gone With the Wind

I think I am the only psychic who continually has to evacuate from family beach vacations because of a hurricane, no matter the state, or the date. This is my third, and I already know that property rental companies are not polite when you tell them a hurricane is going to hit. When I called our beach house rental company in Cape Hatteras this morning, Mary refused to tell me where to drop off the key. Her reason was that I was "an alarmist" and The Weather Channel "just tries to scare people". I told her an evacuation was about to be called, and it was just a matter of time, and at some point this summer I had to leave, so why not just tell me what I want to know?

After repeating her criticism possibly 10 more times, once again, I had enough. I wanted to say, "Well, last night my angel told me to get out by noon, and believe me, you want to do what my angel says," but I decided against that approach for Mary. Realizing that she was indeed not named after the Blessed Virgin, but maybe after the illegitimate self-appointed Queen of England, I said, and I won't quote, but the gist was that I had worked for The Weather Channel (TWC) and I had the inside scoop. Technically this was not a lie because God does know better than even The Weather Channel, and Angel assured me she (it) was on His staff. Then I explained to Mary why a hurricane on the North Carolina coast is called only a day in advance. Businesses in the state can lose over 600 million dollars a day, and if the hurricane does not hit and TWC is wrong, they don't want to hurt the commerce. 

Once I found out that I simply had to put the house key in a dropbox, I realized (1) she was insane not to tell me this right away, and (2) I may likely find myself beheaded if I go much further into their building.

But I did anyway. When I entered, a lady, who was way too friendly for a Wednesday morning, grinned as if I were Brad Paisley. "Hiiiii, how can I help you today?" she gushed. Well, I want to drop off my key and tell you that we didn't steal the television you claim to have in the house. It wasn't there when we arrived. I almost told her the "high speed" was missing from the internet too, when she interrupted, "YOU'RE LEAVING so soon?" Uh, yeah, and if you don't get a frickin' clue soon, that hurricane is going to carry off your body to wherever your mind is. No, I didn't say that. I just said, "Have a nice day!" and she replied, "You too! Come back soon!" 

So, we escaped. After an eventful ride with a jack russell terrier turning around in circles on my bladder for 8 hours (for the second time in 3 days), we just walked in the door of our home. I had to pray immediately, "Thank you God for telling us to leave early, and thank you my sweet Angel. But I also had to add, by the way, just wondering, uhhh, why did you not tell me when I booked the house and paid for it? My answer came quickly and loudly, "YOU DIDN'T ASK". Mea Culpa. 

I had no time to reflect on this when my husband came barreling in with his iPad, "Hey listen to this! A CAT 2 is going to hit Cape Hatteras!" And grinning, I felt the urge to yell, "Score! Take that Mary!" And then I realized how horrible that was and how the hurricane has ruined family vacations, businesses, and will hurt property. But in my defense, I have no doubt The Weather Channel was saying, "Woo Hoo! First hurricane on July 3! We'll meet our revenue goals yet!"

Oh, and Mary, we took your advice to just move our car to higher ground. Maryland! Perhaps you should do the same.


UPDATE!!! 7/3 1:38 PM:
So, I'm exhausted from yesterday, and I am asleep at the ungodly late time of 53 minutes past seven, when I receive a phone call from the very same happy lady that checked me out of Hatteras Island yesterday morning, whom we shall refer to as "Zoloft".

Zoloft: Well, Good Morning! Is this Ms. Crosby?

Me: Yes this is Laine (I notice from the caller ID that I am talking with a person in North Carolina, and I would recognize that voice anywhere). 

Zoloft: Well, how are you today?

Me: Get the Hell out of Dodge, Lady! There's a hurricane coming. You know, the one I was an "alarmist" to mention?!! No, I didn't say that. I said, "Umm, fine??"

Zoloft: Well, I don't know if you know this, but there is a mandatory evacuation on the island because there is a hurricane coming. I just pause as I'm thinking, this has to be a joke. Someone really has a great impression of Zoloft and her cheery Southern drawl.

Zoloft: Ma'am, did you know that?

Me: (Chuckling at this point) Yes, I did.

Zoloft: Well, we were just wondering when you were going to leave?

Me: Well, since the evacuation was prior to 5 am, if I were there, I would be stuck, as all roads are now closed and no one can leave the island. 

Zoloft: Well, the evacuation IS mandatory. When are you leaving?

Me: Yes, that is why we left yesterday, because we saw on The Weather Channel that a hurricane was barreling down on us. I came and gave you my keys and had you check my account and make sure the time and date of our departure was noted. Because, I have travel insurance in the case of a hurricane and I wanted everything in order.

Zoloft: So you're in North Carolina?

Me: No I'm home. In fact, I'm worried about y'all. Please be safe. 

Zoloft: Oh, thanks! We will be. We just have to drive around now to all the properties to make sure the lights are off and the deck chairs are inside.

Me: Well, you don't have to check ours because we put the chairs inside and secured the trash can under the house and turned off the lights.

Zoloft (enthusiastically): OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH! 

Me: Well, yeah, I mean we had some notice from The Weather Channel. We knew a hurricane was coming. (Geez, did THEIR television go missing too?)

Zoloft: So, y'all are in North Carolina?

Me: We live in Maryland, and we left yesterday morning after we talked, and we drove straight home, so now we are in Maryland. I really am worried for you... I mean you all. You have a lot to do, so I had better let you get off the phone. I know you have a lot of vacationers you have to call. I'll be praying for you... all.

Zoloft: Oh, I'm confused.  

(NO, REALLY?)

Zoloft: The person on the phone before you was in North Carolina trying to evacuate.

Me: Well, I'm pretty sure that's the case for everyone who didn't leave at noon yesterday to miss the traffic, like we did.  Since, after all, we KNEW there was a hurricane coming.

You know, I have several different apps on my phone and tablets that just beep and alert me when there is severe weather. They are free and easy to download.

Zoloft: Well, have a good trip. 

Me: Yeah, thanks. You too!



(My prayers go out to all those who were affected by Hurricane Arthur, and I am thankful there were no casualties other than property and businesses).

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Lent, Lucifer, and Evolution

For many, lent is solely the past participle of lend, but for those with dirty foreheads today, it marks the Christian season of preparation before Easter. Today is the first day of Lent, or Ash Wednesday, and it is marked by services of penitence.  Lent lasts forty days before Easter (excluding Sundays), and is a time when many Christians prepare for Easter by observing a period of fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline. The purpose is to set aside time for reflection on Jesus Christ––his suffering and his sacrifice, his life, death, burial and resurrection. After all, he fasted and prayed forty days in the wilderness, it should be easy for us to give up something and empathize with Him, right?

Last year I gave up chocolate and was successful. This year I decided to give up refined sugar. I knew it meant I would also face the devil, but I was determined. I lasted until lunch.

Then my perspective shifted. My friend Doug wrote me that he was going to give up ingratitude, because he was pretty sure that gratitude was the key to peace. I have a hunch he’s on to something.

My husband tells our children that to lead a happy life, they must be content with what they already have. Chris has always practiced what he preached, but I'm not always so good about it. I always have more I want to accomplish, and I think about those experiences as "haves" rather than money and what it brings.

I do believe one of the major keys to happiness is gratitude, because in Lent we give up something we enjoy, and we realize how grateful we are for all that we do have. I also believe what my mother taught me about always doing for others. If we get out of our own head and do for others––whether we volunteer to help the less fortunate, or do small acts of kindness––we become less self absorbed and more grateful for what we have.

So, I am going to challenge myself and you may join me if you wish (no matter what your religion), to pay it forward during the next forty days, and hopefully habits will form. Whether we mail a card to a loved one, deliver a box of Girl Scout cookies to a shut-in, shovel a neighbor's drive, or just post a message to a Facebook friend we have not seen in a while, that small act can cause ripples in some places and a chain reaction in others. How cool would that be! Then, journal about what we appreciate, and thank God. I believe that is the meaning of evolution.





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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Remember Your Legacy too!

When the spirit of Jannette told her story to me as I relayed in Investigative Medium - the Awakening,  I became her mouthpiece to bring her back from the antebellum South––to preserve her history. I wish we all knew more about those who made us what we are today. Last week, my ninety-five-year-old cousin passed, and I was asked to speak at her funeral. A million thoughts  crossed my mind, but not one of them contained information about our complete ancestry, or any stories she would have liked told.  I wish I had asked more. Done more.


While reflecting on my prospective eulogy, I received a phone call (okay really a Facebook message then a phone call) from my old friend, David Ivy, from my hometown of Atlanta. David has been a well known sportscaster and an award-winning producer for over twenty-five years, and I’ve always enjoyed his insight. We discussed my upcoming release, Real Daughters, and I explained how important it is that the history of the daughters of Confederate soldiers be recorded. Because David often regaled stories like his great grandmother’s account of  burning of Atlanta,  I knew he felt my lust for history too.


David suggested I video my interviews so my audience can sense in more ways than reading.  He’s right, but for many reasons I hesitate, because I lack professional equipment, editing capabilities, and production experience. But David had the perfect solution.

He told me about his production company’s recent venture, Your Legacy Videos (www.yourlegacyvideos.com).  His team makes professional  documentary videos to preserve life stories, memories, events, visions and achievements for generations to come.  They develop masterful high definition factual stories, and will visit your home or office for taping.  If only I had done this with my parents!

His work excited me so much that I wanted to share it with you. I know you will enjoy visiting his web site and seeing some of the family history he has recorded at www.yourlegacyvideos.com.   In addition, Your Legacy Video makes a unique and meaningful gift for your loved ones, whether you record your story for your children, or whether you give your parents or grandparents the gift of their own documentary.

Imagine a world where you come to know more about your great, great grandparents than the black and white egg shaped picture of two frowning old people. What if you saw them laugh, heard their stories in their own voice, and saw yourself in their eyes? How would you feel?

Priceless!

Believe,
Laine

Visit www.yourlegacyvideos.com  for more information and to see some of the videos already completed! Or, you can call 1.800.632.7267.