Thursday, February 4, 2016

The Day Before the Blizzard and The Riding Fence

I think the wives of Noah's friends got a bum rap. All we ever hear about is how all of the people of Noah's day made fun of Noah for building the ark. "Hey, whatcha doing there Noah? What kind of lighting ya gonna have? Flood lights? hahahahaha!" But I don't think that's how it really went down.
I think Noah's guy friends probably came home and told their wives, "You know honey, that guy who lives down by the 3 olive trees after you take a right at the stump after the goat field? Well, he's building this big boat because God said there is going to be a flood. Can you believe that sh*t? And on top of that nonsense, he's gathering two of each animal for his boat."
And the typical wife replied, "It wouldn't hurt you none to get off your sorry a$$ and get some exercise. When was the last time God talked to you? You had better take heed and build us a boat too."
And the nagging started. The wives realized they didn't want to be stuck on the roof for all of the rainy season, so, they searched Amazon and looked for boat bargains. They talked to each other, compared prices, and one even found a sale on ebay for exactly what she needed. For 6 months prior to the flood these women planned and made decisions and "suggested" that their husbands take their advice. All they needed was the strength and physical power to assemble what they needed to prepare for a natural disaster. They had done their research, selected the products, power tools, and assembly kit.
But the husbands did not listen. For two seasons prior to the rainy season, these men would not budge. Then the rain started to fall... One man then looked on Amazon and realized it was too late to get anything he needed. So, he thought a raft from the pool would work just fine.
Thousands of years later, a blizzard hits Montgomery County, Maryland with 3 feet of snow. I found this in the garage this morning where my car would be. It is our lawnmower with half of our fence bungeed to the front of it. I don't think I need to explain the rest of the story.